I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.
Anonymous asked:
re: the mandalorian season finale: the real reason that Luke didn't really introduce himself or anything, just showed up, said he was a Jedi, and walked out was, because he was NOT expecting Grogu's dad to look Like That™ and just immediately blacked out from the moment he saw that shiny beskar armor until he got into the elevator (and now he's secretly hoping single dad Din Djarin will come pick his kid up from Jedi boarding school every weekend)
assiraphales answered:
luke skywalker: *had planned to be a polite well mannered jedi explaining his intent, who he was, where they were going, how he found them, and visitation rights*
luke skywalker, after getting one glimpse of space hunk din djarin: uUUUUuuuuuuuUMMMMMMMM beep boop I am jedi goodbyeeeee
r2d2: bitch the fuck
I’M FUCKING WHEEZING how am i supposed to live my life after reading this post knowing these people are out there somewhere
i asked around for what kinda dream drinks youd like to order at a cafe somewhere and these are some of the responses sippppp sip sip sip
Joey Batey | The Amazing Devil on Twitter 2016
The unspoken rule for British actors is that you need a photoshoot in a bathtub.
don’t take this the wrong way but I need to see examples
for science
Baths? British Actors? For science?
Benedict Cumberbatch
Idris Elba
Colin Firth
Tom Hardy
Jason Isaacs
Andrew Scott
James McAvoy
Tom Hiddleston
Okay, but lest we forget:
Sir Patrick Stewart.
always suggest sir patrick
gonna post a controversial take alright are y’all ready??
…
actually typing out emoticons like XD and :D and :V never should have gone out of fashion and you can pry them out of my cold dead hands okay I know emojis are fun but THEY DON’T CAPTURE THE EMOTION IN THE SAME WAY
so like
…yeah that was basically it, thanks for reading
also websites that automatically replace your typed out <3 and :D with emojis upon sending them are a Danger To Everything That’s Good In The World
bring back nose smilies :-)
There is no emoji that captures what I mean by :P (I do NOT mean “hur hur goofy-ass face!”) and the one for :^/ is not great. And lest we forget, 🤷🏻♀️ is absolutely inadequate compared to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Faces no emoji has ever managed to capture, imo:
:P
^_^
:3
^u^
:/
O.o
0.0
>:/
<(^u^)>
I am too old to stop using XD
good morning to the losers who check tumblr like a newspaper each morning and yes by losers i mean me
I don't want to read the news of our impending doom, I want to see memes of the news of our impending doom.
we’re here for the newspaper cartoons, not the words
i just realized how absolutely earth shatteringly horny the internet at large would be for darth vader if the original trilogy came out right now
my god, every facet of his character, the mask, he’s tall, he chokes people, he’s evil, good god it would be apocalyptic, this website would be fucking unusable
people are horny for kylo ren and he’s just an intentionally infinitely shittier version of darth vader who sucks fucking shit comparatively just imagine
so imagine Star Wars comes out now, everybody’s obviously drawing their fanon interpretation of Vader as hot brooding anime men so they can ship him with whomever of luke/leia/han they find personally most attractive. Empire comes around, darth is luke’s ****** (message me for spoilers!), everyone purges their Luke/Vader art and starts drawing him as a hot dad, slicked back salt-n-pepper hair and a chiseled jaw and shit
then Jedi comes out and
someone just actually messaged me for spoilers
this reply in the comments tho
This did not go where I expected from the first tweet and now I am laughing so hard I am crying.
@allthefictionalboyfriends
:-D